On Failure and Discipline
I failed yesterday. The goal of this challenge was to write once a day for 72 days and it only took 2 days to lose this discipline. I could say there was a good reason, I was sick, but this isn’t good enough. I get sick very rarely, so when I do, I generally give myself permission to really be sick. I spent the day in bed, taking Zicam, and generally trying to rest up because I have a grind the rest of the weekend. I could have gotten up. I could have spent just 15 minutes checking in, but I didn’t.
There is a saying in a support group that I am a member of that goes like this: Our program is very simple, but it is not easy. I think this adage is applicable to most things that we choose to do. For me, this generally holds true to discipline. It’s not very complicated to follow through on something, but it can be damn hard in one’s mind. My life has been a series of disappoints; not so much from the bad decisions that I have made, but rather from the lack of perseverance to commit and complete the good decisions that I have made.
The frustrating thing is that I know that this is the root of most of the dissatisfaction with life that has been an excuse to use. I still struggle with maintaining discipline and I recognize that there will probably never be a resolution. I will not wake up one day and exclaim,” Finally! I am cured of all my procrastination, empty promises, and aspirations unfulfilled!” I do know however that continual work on myself, coupled with a network of people to prod me to continue, will help me make continual progress toward becoming the type of person that does not let the little things get in the way of the big things(Thanks sis for texting me this morning and asking where posts 3 and 4 were 😊)
The wonderful thing about life is that apart from a few extreme situations, we always have the opportunity to try again. The failures of today can be the successes of tomorrow. Keep that in mind the next time that you feel some negative emotion for not being the best that you could have been today. Only look back to the failures of yesterday with an eye for learning and let go of the regret and the could have beens. Don’t worry about the future as it has not happened as we tend to look at it with more apprehension than excited expectation.
Wow, I got a little mushy there. It’s generic advice to some degree, but the reason that it seems generic is that it is damn good advice. In my program we have another saying. Taking it one day at a time. My success in staying clean for 8+ months, the longest since I began my path into drug use at 17, has been a result of focusing on what I can do each day to make progress. It has worked in that arena of my life as I have not used and have had only one real moment of weakness. I’m slowly working it into the other aspects of my life and am working on tallying up the little wins. This post is a little win as I could have admitted failure, left it at that, and given up on the 72DWC after just 3 days. That’s what I would have done in the past. This journey is about my future.
PS. Here's a recipe for a knockout tea I make when I am sick. It does wonders, escpecially for sore throats.
1 Tbsp - Raw Honey
1 Lemon Slice
Tea of Your Choice - I like green tea
Pour honey into cup and add hot water. Squeeze the juice of the lemon into cup and add peel. Steep tea of your choice. Enjoy.